The Impact of Perception on Life and Business | MM#128

In this episode, Jessie and Angela explore the impact of perception on reactions, relationships, and decision-making in their podcast. Drawing from Stephen R. Covey's work, they discuss how understanding others' backgrounds can shift one's views significantly. Angela ties this to parenting, emphasizing the importance of perspective-taking. They cover both the benefits and pitfalls of perception, from empowering one to learn from failures to the risks of overconfidence and complacency. The conversation also touches on red flags in relationships and teaching resilience to kids, ultimately highlighting the complexities and importance of perception in various life scenarios.

RESOURCES:
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

**ANNOUNCEMENT** After nearly 3 years, the Marketing Moms podcast is sunsetting. Thank you so much for the unwavering support, well-wishes, and memories. This has been the experience of a lifetime <3
It's coffee time!
Jessie & Angela

• Say hello on Instagram! @marketingmomspodcast
• Snag the FREE Balance Journal at marketingmomspodcast.com/balance
• Grab the Marketing Moms book marketingmomsbook.com
• Check out past episodes at marketingmoms.co

Transcript

00:01.56
jessievalle
Hey'll Imagine you are on a Subway and it is nice and calm and it's actually not too bad. You just it's a nice chill vibe and then it stops and on comes. Ah, father and his three crazy wild children and they're running around knocking into people and all of a sudden.. The whole atmosphere has changed. How would you feel Today. We're going to talk about Perception. And how your mindset and perception can actually change how you react to situations.

01:08.47
jessievalle
Okay, Angela so imagine that situation subway nice calm. You're actually enjoying yourself. Everybody's just so just soothing. You're riding along and then on come some rainbunctious children and a father who just sits there.

01:11.76
Angela
Yeah.

01:27.30
jessievalle
And doesn't do anything about it. How would you feel.

01:30.79
Angela
Ah, well I would probably be a little irritated but caveat to that as a mom of 3 feral children I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask about that. But I probably would be a little irritated like you can at least.

01:45.26
jessievalle
You a problem? yeah.

01:48.61
Angela
You know on one hand I I have been definitely been the mom that's like I am so over it today I don't care what you're doing as long as you're not setting something on fire. Um, but as someone who was enjoying some peace and quiet for a minute that would definitely be irritating.

02:03.83
jessievalle
Um, okay, and how would your perception change if I told you that the man's wife had just passed away an hour and that was the kid's mom.

02:19.58
jessievalle
How would your perception of that situation change.

02:20.30
Angela
Definitely oh a lot for sure I don't think anybody could blame someone for being in shock at that point and just not even knowing that to and you wouldn't want to. Like that's not the time you want to scold your kids for things.

02:37.99
jessievalle
Exactly this situation actually happened to Stephen R Covey the author of the 7 habits of highly effective people which is a book that just popped up on my um.

02:52.78
jessievalle
Audio library so I was listening to it last night and I heard this story and I was just like whoa how your perception of a situation and how you react to it changes in an instant.

03:04.50
Angela
Um, yeah.

03:04.87
jessievalle
So yeah, at first you're kind of annoyed like it was nice and peaceful and these crazy kids come on here and the father's just sitting there not doing anything and then you find out it's because his wife just died and he doesn't know what he's doing. He's now got 3 kids and they just lost their mom and yeah, this is how they're acting out.

03:13.66
Angela
Yeah.

03:23.57
Angela
Um, yeah.

03:23.58
jessievalle
Like Wow I look at the situation completely differently and how I would handle it and so it kind of brought up in me feelings of a reminder that you never know what someone's going through to begin with because.

03:26.27
Angela
Of that.

03:37.67
Angela
Um, right.

03:43.10
jessievalle
Everyone has stuff and yes the stuff ranges in degrees of intensity and life and death situations and. All these things that it varies. However, to that person. It is the most important thing that is either or probably hindering their life at that Moment. Everyone has something.

04:02.35
Angela
Yeah.

04:17.12
Angela
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

04:21.64
jessievalle
And so the thing is is we never actually well typically we don't know what that thing is for people especially in this day and age with social media. Someone can seem absolutely fine and then you come to find. They were not fine.

04:27.40
Angela
Oh.

04:36.99
Angela
Yeah, yeah, we do see that a lot especially with social media that actually reminds me of a story that my husband likes to tell when our oldest was little like to you know how two year olds are she was way upset about something or other just.

04:50.70
jessievalle
A.

04:56.44
Angela
Hysterical and my husband said she's acting like it's the worst thing in the world and I said it is to her. She's too like this is factually. The worst thing that's ever happened to her like. You know when you're an adult and you watch kids react like that to things you're like oh my gosh. It's not even that big a deal but like like you said your perception changes when you think about like.

05:25.84
jessievalle
Business.

05:25.92
Angela
No to them. It really is and like how would you react if that was the worst thing in the world that ever happened to you just happened like.

05:32.59
jessievalle
Um, yeah, yeah.

05:38.73
jessievalle
So this yeah so today I kind of wanted to talk a little bit about perception and how it can be helpful but it can also be a little hurtful in life and work and relationships and all the things. So first let's start with.

05:47.26
Angela
Are.

05:58.56
jessievalle
I Don't know should we start with helpful or hurtful What which one do you want to get out of the way and grog. So one of the ways that it could be truly helpful is in problem solving right.

06:03.43
Angela
Ah, let's do helpful.

06:15.16
jessievalle
Um, when you're trying to solve a problem sometimes a shift in perception can help you see things a little differently and see ways that you could solve the problem outside of the box as they say that you may not have seen before. Ah.

06:24.17
Angela
So up there. Yeah, yeah I think that's one of the reasons that collaboration can be really helpful and important because you can get different perspectives from different people.

06:43.71
jessievalle
Okay I have 1 more story that I want to share from the book. But he's full of stories. We're going to link down in the show notes below just to the Amazon whatever um, so you can get the 7 habits of highly effective people and. 1 of the reasons I'm enjoying the audio book is because it was read by the author which I always enjoy things that are read by the author. But okay, this is just he's full of stories that I'm just going to share one more so they split a group of people into two groups and they. Showed one side a picture of an old woman and 1 side a picture of a young woman then they showed them another picture and the old woman group saw a picture of an old woman and the young like the young woman group saw a picture of a young woman then they came together. They found out that they were actually looking at the same picture but because they had been everyone seen those right where you look at it one way and you see 1 thing and you look at it another way you see another but because they were conditioned. 1 group was conditioned to see an old woman. They saw the old woman.

07:45.15
Angela
Sure. Yeah, yep, you see a different thing.

07:56.91
Angela
Um, me yep.

07:57.23
jessievalle
And 1 group was conditioned to see the young woman and they saw the young woman and so when they came together and they were trying to get the other side to see their viewpoint. It was it. It was a little chaotic right.

08:04.43
Angela
Yeah.

08:12.40
Angela
Bright.

08:15.65
jessievalle
So of course there were different. There's more to the story and there were different situations. Um, but when you open yourself up to seeing something from a different perspective. You might be like oh I see the young woman now or oh I see the old woman now I see both I see both and and that's kind of.

08:27.84
Angela
Right.

08:34.47
jessievalle
How it helps with problem solving like you see your way and you think your way is right and someone else might see their way and they think their way is right? and it's hard to get each other to see each other's different perspective. But sometimes if you just open yourself up.

08:49.72
Angela
Yeah.

08:51.59
jessievalle
Maybe you can collaboratively come together to create a third solution that everyone feels good about and it's kind of hard in this day and age because we're very much a society where we want to be right and we want to be in charge.

09:05.94
Angela
Yes, yeah.

09:11.27
jessievalle
And so to come together collaboratively to release your solution is really hard.

09:19.61
Angela
Um, yeah, it is. It's really difficult and especially I think we see this in marketing a lot because the whole point of a lot of the marketing is that like my way is the right way and the best way and so you get I think.

09:29.70
jessievalle
Evening.

09:36.40
Angela
Because you get into that rut with marketing with the like this is how you sell your thing is you tell everybody your way is the only way that can kind of bleed over into areas where it makes it really hard interacting with people to.

09:45.35
jessievalle
Again.

09:53.38
Angela
To see other points of view and to be open to other ideas.

09:55.59
jessievalle
Yeah I mean an instant thing that pops in my head is let's say let's say there's a bunch of. Dishes on the counter problem. There are dishes on the counter and we have company coming over in 10 minutes what do you do? how you respond to that situation is probably going to be different than the way your spouse.

10:30.20
Angela
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.

10:31.96
jessievalle
Whisper respond to that situation. 1 of you might decide to actually do the dishes. So now they're clean. 1 of you might decide to hide them in the dishwasher. 1 of you might 1 of you might decide to toss them in the oven to hide them.

10:50.70
Angela
I'm not going to lie that was definitely a thought that crossed my head to or put him put him in the the bathtub and pull the curtain.

10:54.10
jessievalle
Ah, and 1 of you might oh that's even better or 1 of you might decide to just stack them neatly I mean they're still dirty but it's kind of like stack them and organize them neatly in the pink or in that area to be washed later.

11:03.63
Angela
Oh bright.

11:12.74
jessievalle
And so right there we just listed several different options and so the chance of you and your spouse selecting the same one in your mind is probably nothing good. Chances are not good and right So sometimes it's.

11:25.58
Angela
Ah, not not stellar.

11:30.88
jessievalle
Also about being able to be like okay has the problem been solved. It's not solved the way I would have solved it. However, it is still solved. Okay, let's move on. Okay, so just problem solving.

11:39.20
Angela
The salt. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

11:49.56
jessievalle
Perception is huge. That's probably the biggest one in my opinion which is why I didn't mind spending a lot of time talking about it. But another thing would be relationship building so adjusting how you perceive others can improve those. Interpersonal dynamics.

12:09.87
Angela
Yes, I was actually just talking with my oldest about something like this the other day. Um, because we were talking about somebody disagreeing about something and I said you know my dad used to tell me all the time. The person on the other side of the argument believes what they are saying just as fiercely as you believe what you are saying and unless you can keep that in mind you're not gonna have a productive discussion like.

12:40.87
jessievalle
Is.

12:44.37
Angela
When all you have in your mind is I'm right clearly I am the one that knows what's going on I am the smart person in this discussion and they don't know what they're talking About. You're not going to get anywhere. But if you can remember like no they for whatever reason and like you said we don't always Know. What's going on with people like whatever reason their life experience their opinions. They are absolutely as dead set on their side as you are on yours and it's important to keep that in mind because that's the only way to be productive. In a relationship.

13:21.48
jessievalle
Yeah I Also think about the relationship that I had with my students when I was teaching um sometimes the most difficult students are the ones that need love the most.

13:39.31
Angela
And absolutely.

13:39.38
jessievalle
And so I would try to step back and see it from a different perspective of like if this kid goes home and does not get their love tank is not filled that could cause them to lash out at school.

13:55.60
Angela
Yep, yeah.

13:58.91
jessievalle
And so I would give them a little bit more grace than just thinking the kids a bad apple.

14:02.71
Angela
Yeah, yeah I ran into that a lot in my daycare too and especially because with like daycare kids they're usually in daycare because Mom or dad work and so they're not necessarily getting as much time with their parents as.

14:08.98
jessievalle
Um, and.

14:20.77
Angela
Kids that stay at home flip side of that as a kindergarten teacher I could definitely tell which kids went to daycare and which kids were home all the time.

14:33.34
jessievalle
Fair enough.

14:33.54
Angela
Ah, but yeah, it's you know so it's it is that you know you do see that a lot where the kids that are the most frustrating sometimes are the ones that need the most because they have so much going on.

14:48.27
jessievalle
Yeah, all right? Another thing is risk assessment right? You see you couldn't by changing your perception. You see the risk as an opportunity. That could have a positive change rather than a risk not worth taking So. It's just about yeah your mindset and just changing that perception. Well Okay, so let me just I just made it snayer. There.

15:08.17
Angela
Ah, here.

15:12.23
Angela
Right.

15:20.80
Angela
Did this.

15:26.81
jessievalle
Um, the difference between Mindset and perception is mindset is typically yourself about you in your personality whereas Perception is about outward things. So anyway.

15:35.46
Angela
Um, that is.

15:40.70
Angela
Yeah, yeah, but it's true. Yeah, well and it's true too depending on your perception. 1 person might see 2 people might look at the same situation. 1 person might see.

15:45.93
jessievalle
But you would typically need to change your mindset if you're going to take a risk.

15:58.96
Angela
Oh that's too big a risk I'm not willing to do that and another person might say oh this is exactly the opportunity I've been looking for and it just depends on where they're at in their lives What they have going on what they feel like they would be risking that perception of the situation.

16:04.41
jessievalle
If.

16:15.15
jessievalle
And their perception of their abilities to succeed at that opportunity which then again plays into mindset and believing in yourself in your abilities all right. Another one would be.

16:19.67
Angela
Um, yeah.

16:24.70
Angela
Um, yeah, yeah.

16:35.14
jessievalle
That changing perception can help build resilience. So it's the reframing your failures as learning experiences and you know using your failure as an opportunity to grow can build resilience and that is so hard.

16:51.48
Angela
Yeah.

16:53.31
jessievalle
And I've tried to teach that to my kids to say listen sometimes it's better to make a mistake because then you can remember the solution better than if you had just gotten it right? The first time. Yeah.

16:59.26
Angela
Right.

17:05.62
Angela
Yeah, a hundred ways not to make a light bulb.

17:13.19
jessievalle
And that's really hard when you're getting a grade and you want to get 100% even though in 85 might be best for you and your growth in the subject. It's.

17:16.84
Angela
Yeah.

17:25.12
Angela
Yeah.

17:30.26
jessievalle
It's actually one of the things that made teaching very difficult was how to allow students to fail in order to learn but then still marking them to be able to pass the class type thing.

17:39.91
Angela
Um E yes.

17:46.16
Angela
Right? yeah.

17:48.66
jessievalle
It's very difficult when you that's why having big projects and rubrics of different pieces is sometimes better than just answer these questions Abc Okay, then what about.

17:54.66
Angela
Yeah, right? Yeah yeah.

18:06.60
jessievalle
Your emotional health right? So depending on how you perceive a situation and perceive the stressors in your life. It can either increase or decrease your anxiety. So again, you're sitting on the Subway you're getting a little.

18:08.16
Angela
Um, yeah.

18:19.21
Angela
Um, yes.

18:26.14
jessievalle
Peeved irritated your anxiety levels going up. It might go down significantly when you change your perception to these kids just lost their mom an hour ago. My anxiety has just gone down.

18:38.28
Angela
Um, yeah.

18:41.50
Angela
Yeah, yeah, that's definitely giving people grace and seeing that remembering that your perspective isn't the only perspective and your experience isn't The only experience can definitely make a big difference in.

18:55.75
jessievalle
Um, that's toughy.

19:00.82
Angela
The way you approach things and your emotional health and.

19:02.10
jessievalle
And. Okay, so let's take the other side of the coin and let's see how changes in perception can be a little hurtful to a situation starting with overconfidence. You are almost too.

19:22.60
Angela
Oh yeah.

19:26.82
jessievalle
Confident and too positive in your abilities and you take the risky decision that you probably should not have taken and it could be helpful.

19:36.12
Angela
Um, yeah, well and this kind of plays into some of that relationship building too like if you are too sure that your perspective is the correct perspective then you're likely to be very overconfident and kind of. Override and run roughshod over everyone else.

19:55.70
jessievalle
And yeah, what if you rough shot the wrong person. What if it's your boss and you get fired like I mean I know most of us run our own businesses but just work with me here.

20:04.24
Angela
I Um yep.

20:10.68
Angela
Bestel.

20:13.51
jessievalle
Um, okay, so also it could go the other way complacency you perceive things are just fine and then you don't grow and you don't change and you don't become a better person and you just sit in okayness.

20:17.42
Angela
And yep.

20:29.50
Angela
Yeah.

20:31.96
jessievalle
To be honest, this is sometimes a struggle for me and my husband because I push to be better. Do better more and he's just okay with the situation and that creates a little bit of clash in our marriage sometimes because I'm just like he's like things are fine.

20:45.11
Angela
Um, yeah, yes.

20:52.10
jessievalle
I'm like I know but even if it's as simple as look how this space is organized. It's fine. No, but what if I added this and we did this and we did this ah like it doesn't have to be a big thing in your life right.

20:57.91
Angela
Um, yeah, yeah.

21:08.17
Angela
Yeah.

21:10.62
jessievalle
I'm always looking to try to make something better and tweak it. So it's more effective and efficient and he's just like it's fine. Ah.

21:16.73
Angela
Yeah.

21:19.49
jessievalle
I mean it. But that complacency could hurt him occasionally in certain ways. But my overconfidence and wanting to go The other direction can hurt me as well. So sometimes coming together again could be more.

21:23.51
Angela
Yeah. Yes.

21:37.28
Angela
Um, yeah.

21:37.37
jessievalle
Beneficial for both parties. Okay, number 3 would be a social disconnect. So if you change your perceptions too quickly or too radically you can alienate your friends. Or the people around you. It's like you believe 1 thing one day and you have a group of people who believe have similar beliefs as you.

21:59.48
Angela
Um, ah.

22:09.52
Angela
Um, yep.

22:13.18
jessievalle
And then the next day you change and you've completely alienated everyone around you I mean it could be as simple as I don't know I'm trying to think of ah okay, let's say you are a.

22:17.80
Angela
Um, yeah.

22:30.78
jessievalle
Vegetarian and you have a group of other vegetarians and then all of a sudden you change and you're like I'm just kidding I'm not just a meat eater I won't eat any plants. That's a huge radical change. Um.

22:33.80
Angela
Ah.

22:43.89
Angela
Right? yeah.

22:50.65
jessievalle
And it could alienate the people around you who you know clearly have a different belief. There's a lot of random examples. We could have for that I'm thinking about parenting styles and.

22:51.80
Angela
Yeah.

23:00.36
Angela
There are so many examples. Yes I would say it's so many examples and so many hot buttons that I don't want to touch.

23:11.82
jessievalle
I know I don't really want to I was trying to find some something a little more safe. Ah although how you eat is a very big hot button for a lot of people too. So I apologize if I pressed your hot button I was just trying to come up with ah an example here.

23:19.26
Angela
It is a very big hot button for a lot of people.

23:28.42
jessievalle
But um, yeah, that and and that's why your perception can be hurtful is because you believe so strongly and radically about what you perceive.

23:30.96
Angela
Yeah.

23:38.31
Angela
Um, a yeah.

23:45.71
Angela
Yeah.

23:47.99
jessievalle
You forget to perceive things the way that others perceive which comes up a lot in politics which it was one of the reasons I stay far away from politics. But Angela's my po tick connection.

23:52.87
Angela
Yes, yeah, which yeah I do I Love Pal but. That does go back to what we were talking about earlier with the relationship building and understanding that your perception is not the only one and that they are just as strongly opinionated as you are and needing to do that for a productive discussion and I think with.

24:06.49
jessievalle
Is he. He in is.

24:22.82
Angela
With that social disconnect is where you get the like refusal to see another perspective.

24:27.86
jessievalle
Um, okay so instead of making radical changes. Let's go the opposite direction and look at decision Paralysis you are constantly altering your viewpoint and you can't make a decision to save your life.

24:46.33
Angela
Yes, yes.

24:47.59
jessievalle
Safe. Um I mean and and this again could be big things in your life or it could be something small like choosing the right dress for the wedding right? like but if I wear this one I could be too cold and oh but this one this one isn't as fair.

24:58.19
Angela
Yeah.

25:05.65
Angela
What if this one's too dressy. Yeah yes I don't want to be overdressed or underdressed or I was yes.

25:06.68
jessievalle
See or what it did it like and you've just gone back like seriously just because.

25:17.41
jessievalle
Yeah, and so you're constantly altering that viewpoint and so your perception of the situation of how will other others perceive me how will I perceive myself how will this ah affect like the how will the weather affect this is it. You know.

25:25.53
Angela
In here. Yeah yes.

25:35.27
jessievalle
All these things leading to this decision. Paralysis is hurtful in your overall life. It's taking up too much of your time.

25:39.75
Angela
Um I was just thinking about this earlier and just for clarification we're recording this on Halloween um, so I was.

25:47.89
jessievalle
A.

25:52.60
Angela
Taking my oldest to school and she was very excited because they were letting kids her high schools letting them dress up in costume for Halloween and as we were pulling up to the school I was like I don't think if that had been me I would have absolutely had decision paralysis because I would have wanted to dress up.

25:56.43
jessievalle
3

26:11.15
Angela
But I would have been worried that nobody else was going to dress up but then I would be also worried that if I didn't dress up everybody else was going to dress and I would have been stock like flat stock. Um.

26:18.63
jessievalle
Is he is he.

26:26.30
Angela
And to her credit she did dress up and we pulled up and kind of looked in the doors and there were not a lot of people dressed like it was mostly just kids in normal clothes and she was like it does not look like anyone else dressed up and she was like ah and I said do I mean to take you home so you can change and she said no. Somebody else will be dressed up I'm not going to be the only one and she went in which was so much better than I would have done I would have been like yes, please take me you get change. But yeah.

26:53.28
jessievalle
Um.

26:58.60
Angela
So I was actually just thinking about that decision paralysis this morning because I was like I Absolutely at her age would have had decision paralysis over what to do about that and like how to handle like what if this and what if that and I don't what if people think I'm weird because I dressed up and what if nobody else. Dresses up and what if everybody else dresses up and I'm the weird kid that didn't.

27:18.93
jessievalle
It also makes me realize that we as parents need to help our children with their perceptions of the world as well or at least being open to their perceptions of the world. Yes, for sure. Oh man. Yeah that that would be pretty.

27:27.16
Angela
Yes, yes.

27:37.43
Angela
That would have been so stressful for me. She handled it like a champ though.

27:38.49
jessievalle
Pretty tough. Yeah, she is wise but beyond her years. Okay, and last but not least, um your changes.

27:44.91
Angela
Yes.

27:53.33
jessievalle
Your or your perception can be hurtful when you Miss Red Flags so you have this overly optimistic perception that can make you miss the warning signs hence the honeymoon phase where you.

27:56.29
Angela
Yes.

28:03.66
Angela
The honeymoon face.

28:11.21
jessievalle
Just started dating someone and you think everything is wonderful and there is nothing wrong with this person and you can't wait to spend the rest of your life with that person and you miss all the red flags.

28:23.60
Angela
Yes, yeah.

28:28.00
jessievalle
But let's hope this happens to you as an an inexperienced teenager. Ah.

28:32.78
Angela
Teen Yes, well and I think we see this too with like business opportunities and clients and customers or we get so excited and it's amazing and we don't really see any of the what's coming down the tracks at us.

28:36.44
jessievalle
I was just going to say that? yeah.

28:49.18
jessievalle
Um, yeah I mean I have a we have yes.

28:50.10
Angela
And you know and I know we talked about red flags with clients in 1 of our episodes and how long like how sometimes even when you get to that point that you see the red flag. He still just keep going.

29:05.30
jessievalle
Like that 1 time someone said Jesse remember who pays you huge red flag. How could I let anyone talk to me like that and I still worked with them I was my own business owner who cares that she was a client paying me. She doesn't.

29:10.24
Angela
Oh yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yeah, yeah, right.

29:24.31
jessievalle
Own me I cannot believe I still worked with that woman for another couple weeks after that I'm over it guys that was like seven years ago but still it stings. Ah, ah how did I get to the point where I missed so many red flags because I was so excited to get paid.

29:28.40
Angela
And I. Still Yes, yeah, and I think right? Yes, Well and I think another way that perception can.

29:42.44
jessievalle
In the beginning.

29:46.35
Angela
Have you misread flags is if you aren't willing to look at things from other people's perspective and to take like advice and things from other people. Then you don't know what to look for like 1 of the reasons that. I see red flags sometimes because I tell Jesse about a client and she goes don't you think that's a red flag. Don't she don't she make me think that's not ideal. But I'm so busy stuck in my perception of ooh I got a new client or I get to try a new thing that I don't see that from you know, maybe a different perspective.

30:16.62
jessievalle
Appreciate.

30:23.87
jessievalle
Yeah, and I think we've talked about that before with for example, clients who aren't willing to open up to give you what you need to complete a job which for us Techies is very important.

30:34.65
Angela
Um, right right? yeah.

30:38.53
jessievalle
I Know it's scary to give us your passwords or give us access to things like your bank account. Not your bank account but like even your stripe account that it's scary to give someone like us access to that but them completely shutting down and saying.

30:51.12
Angela
Um, yeah.

30:55.83
jessievalle
No I'm not giving you that isn't the red flag. The red flag is when they won't even sit down to help you with it. Okay, how do you want me to connect it if you're not going to give me what I need.

31:02.12
Angela
Right? How am I supposed to although I do have to say one of my favorite things to tell I have one of my favorite things. My teenagers think that I have ever said is that I have had so many people. Flat refuse to give me the password to their website and then turn around and ask if they can give me their bank information so that I can connect it to stripe like I don't understand it but like so many more people than you would expect have done that.

31:35.67
jessievalle
Are more protective than of their website.

31:39.70
Angela
Have more protective of their password and I don't know if it's because we as a society have made a big deal about not giving people your password like or what but it's remarkable. Yes, please be careful.

31:49.31
jessievalle
Um, which is fine. That's why there are programs that exist. Yeah.

31:54.65
Angela
But it's just remarkable How many people will be like no I'm not comfortable giving you the password and then turn around and be like can I Just give you my bank account information.

32:04.22
jessievalle
Oh goodness perspective. Okay, so also just tossing out there.

32:05.74
Angela
But again perspective Bank account information more important than passwords.

32:23.51
jessievalle
I have worked with people who are more guarded because of their past they were burned by other people in the past and so they are wary to work with you. Even if you are trustworthy and so it's that perception.

32:29.98
Angela
Um, yes I have as well. Um, yeah, and that yes.

32:40.48
jessievalle
Of Okay, they've been burned. Let me tread lightly versus you're just being unreasonable give me the password.

32:47.52
Angela
And that goes back to your original story with the man on the Subway when you're dealing with someone and it feels like they're just being stubborn and won't give me what I need to get this done. It's not necessarily that it could be that they've been burned in the past or that they've had money stolen from them or you know their website.

33:02.94
jessievalle
Um.

33:07.00
Angela
Messed with or held hostage. Um for things at which I've had clients had happened to them and knowing that perspective that they're coming from can make a big difference in how you approach and deal with clients and customers.

33:26.29
jessievalle
Um, a.

33:26.90
Angela
Because the same is true with customers too like you may have someone that 30 seconds after they buy a digital product is in your inbox demanding to know where it is and you know like give it a minute. It takes a minute for everything to process for goodness sakes. But you know you don't know. Maybe they have bought things in the past and just.

33:35.21
jessievalle
Yeah.

33:46.90
Angela
Gotten scammed and now they're just really wary of that and really, that's a big kind of hot button for them so and understanding that or at least keeping that in mind that that's a possibility when dealing with people can change the way that you handle customer service.

33:49.97
jessievalle
A.

34:04.88
jessievalle
Yeah, so our homework our challenge to you this week is the next time you are starting to feel a little frustrated about any situation pause for a moment.

34:05.30
Angela
And things like that.

34:10.63
Angela
Today.

34:22.13
jessievalle
And try to see things from a different perspective whether it's just by yourself and trying to analyze a potential opportunity or risk or whether it's working with your two year old who is throwing a tantrum over. The crust not being cut off the sandwich. Some people have that issue I'm just saying um I've never never seen anything like that I totally just made that up.

34:49.39
Angela
Ah, just a little bit somebody you all have ten year olds that still have problems the crust.

34:56.76
jessievalle
Stop and think about their perspective just saying all right and as always if you would love to continue the conversation. Be sure to join us over in our membership at marketing momsmonthly.com

35:02.43
Angela
Um.

35:15.13
jessievalle
You can get a free thirty days to hang out with us. We have a private chat where you can access us at all hours and definitely get our eyes on your business and your issues and having an outlet to talk to people. So. And let's not forget our extra special generally over 2 hour podcast episode each month. Um with with lots of extra feelings if you love our point of view so we can't wait to see you there and continue the conversation until next week

35:37.51
Angela
Yes.

35:44.58
Angela
Yes.

35:53.16
jessievalle
Ah e.